Marissa Lasoff-Santos and the person she would marry quickly fell head over heels in love.
Lasoff-Santos was a gay woman. Her girlfriend was a bisexual woman 91裸聊视频� or so they thought. Now her partner has become her husband, and they both identify as queer. And things are better than ever.
91裸聊视频淲e91裸聊视频檝e always just had this deep connection, so that91裸聊视频檚 why, like, I never stopped loving him throughout any of this,91裸聊视频� says Lasoff-Santos, a 33-year-old librarian in Michigan. 91裸聊视频淚91裸聊视频檝e become more attracted to him. I guess part of it is just, like, that confidence in him and, like, he just seems so happy.91裸聊视频�
Lasoff-Santos91裸聊视频� relationship and others like it show that a partner91裸聊视频檚 gender transition does not necessarily mean a death sentence for a marriage. Data is scant, but couples and therapists say that in many cases, a relationship grows and flourishes under the light of new honesty.
Such marriages, when they do prevail, can underscore the resilience of love, the flexibility of sexual identity and the diversity in 20 years after the in the U.S. and with in its sixth decade.
91裸聊视频淓ven though he was the one transitioning, I felt like I was going through my own transition,91裸聊视频� Lasoff-Santos says. 91裸聊视频淚t was definitely hard to not, I guess, come across as kind of selfish, because I was going through all these emotions, and he was going through his own journey.91裸聊视频�
Kristie Overstreet, a sexologist and psychotherapist who says she has worked with trans people for 18 years, says about 2 in 5 relationships survive a transition. And Kelly Wise, a sex therapist in Pennsylvania, estimates that about half of relationships in his practice that experience a gender transition end 91裸聊视频� for many reasons.
91裸聊视频淕ender identity milestones often arise around times that many things are evolving within people and their relationships,91裸聊视频� Wise says in an email.
A recent U.S. Census Bureau doesn91裸聊视频檛 reflect marriages in transition because the bureau doesn91裸聊视频檛 about gender identity.
Avril Clark operates Distinction Support, an online network that helps supportive partners of trans and nonbinary people. Her spouse, a soccer referee at the time, came out as transgender in 2018, changed her name to Lucy and brought the couple Before then, Avril says, they had kept their arrangement private and 91裸聊视频渓ived a double life91裸聊视频� for 15 years.
91裸聊视频淚 needed somebody to talk to that knew how I was feeling,91裸聊视频� Avril says. 91裸聊视频淎nd I looked around, and there weren91裸聊视频檛 any groups that were for me. They were full of people that were very angry and bitter and didn91裸聊视频檛 want anybody else91裸聊视频檚 relationship to work because their relationship hadn91裸聊视频檛 worked.91裸聊视频�
Lucy Clark says Avril had been pressing her to come out for years, 91裸聊视频渂ut I didn91裸聊视频檛 because I thought it would affect football. And I loved football and had it in my mind that I would give it up.91裸聊视频� She didn91裸聊视频檛, and she now manages Sutton United Women in south London.
Avril Clark says that when she took over Distinction in 2017, it had about 50 members worldwide, but now there are 91裸聊视频渨ay over 500.91裸聊视频�
91裸聊视频淚91裸聊视频檝e got this group with all these people on it, all fighting, some of them fighting to make their relationship work,91裸聊视频� she says.
The Reddit group r/mypartneristrans, which describes itself as 91裸聊视频渁 supportive, educational, and safe space for the partners of trans and gender-diverse people,91裸聊视频� counts 61,000 members.
Topics include questions about how to handle Mother91裸聊视频檚 Day and Father91裸聊视频檚 Day; unwelcoming relatives; sex and pregnancy; and how to categorize a cisgender partner91裸聊视频檚 sexual orientation. In other words, now that I91裸聊视频檓 a woman married to a woman, does that make me a lesbian?
Clark says some people call themselves 91裸聊视频渉eteroflexible.91裸聊视频�
91裸聊视频淚t doesn91裸聊视频檛 mean 91裸聊视频業 am a lesbian91裸聊视频� or 91裸聊视频業91裸聊视频檓 a gay person,91裸聊视频�91裸聊视频� she says. 91裸聊视频淚t just means, 91裸聊视频楩or this one person I am prepared to be flexible.91裸聊视频�91裸聊视频�
She estimates her group is 90% cisgender women and 5% transgender or who may also have a partner in transition. The remaining 5% are cisgender husbands, she says.
For people already in a same-sex relationship, a partner91裸聊视频檚 gender transition can bring angst but also self-discovery.
Lasoff-Santos says she had previously wondered if she could ever be married to a man. 91裸聊视频淎nd I always said no. And I think it91裸聊视频檚 hilarious just now that I am.91裸聊视频�
Couples in transition find different ways to address life from 91裸聊视频渂efore91裸聊视频� 91裸聊视频� trips, memories, weddings, anniversaries, family events, photos.
91裸聊视频淭he partner that isn91裸聊视频檛 transitioning may want to display and still share all of these versus their partner who may not want these visible or talked about,91裸聊视频� Overstreet says in an email.
Lasoff-Santos and her husband married in 2018 as he was beginning his transition. They had a son in 2021. When her husband shows their son pictures of himself pre-transition, it91裸聊视频檚 just 91裸聊视频淧apa with long hair,91裸聊视频� Lasoff-Santos says.
One partner may sense a shift the other does not. Emily Wilkinson, 33, who lives near Seattle, says she doesn91裸聊视频檛 doubt 91裸聊视频渢hat I love Cameron and will continue to love Cameron.91裸聊视频� But her vision of their love has changed since her spouse began transitioning last year.
For Cameron, 39, 91裸聊视频淥ur love doesn91裸聊视频檛 feel any different to me, but I91裸聊视频檓 not the one who has to adjust in our relationship.91裸聊视频� They spoke on the condition that their last name not be used to avoid potential consequences at work, where they are not out.
There can be joy in coaching a partner in their new identity.
Rhiannon Rippke-Koch, 45, lives in a small city in Iowa with Sophia Koch, her recently transitioned wife of the same age. She recalls the first time Sophia got to be herself for a whole weekend, during a trip to Des Moines.
91裸聊视频淚 took her to Victoria91裸聊视频檚 Secret and had them measure her for a bra,91裸聊视频� Rippke-Koch says. 91裸聊视频淎nd I took her to Sephora, and they did, you know, the whole makeup thing where, you know, with color palettes, and showed her how to do her eyeshadow and foundation and all that sort of stuff. So 91裸聊视频�91裸聊视频�
91裸聊视频淚t was awesome,91裸聊视频� Sophia finishes, beaming.
The couple also bond over experiences Sophia previously denied herself because of notions about masculinity 91裸聊视频� musicals, flowers. Rhiannon says they91裸聊视频檙e now 91裸聊视频渕uch more intimate, and not even in a sexual way. But we talk about things more. We have more things in common now than we did before.91裸聊视频�
READ ALSO:
