The holidays, a time where families and friends can get together to talk, to laugh 91裸聊视频� or get into screaming arguments.

There are plenty of reasons togetherness can turn into tension 91裸聊视频� maybe that cousin you mostly love has that one opinion on politics or world events you just can91裸聊视频檛 stand, or that one nosy grandparent won91裸聊视频檛 stop asking about your life choices. Perhaps someone at the table is struggling with a substance abuse issue or a mental health concern. And don91裸聊视频檛 forget that person who is just mean and miserable and spoiling for a fight.

It can be enough to make you want to hit the eggnog extra hard. But experts in psychology and mental health say it doesn91裸聊视频檛 have to be that way, and they offer suggestions for how to help manage gatherings that might be less than jolly:

KNOW YOUR 91裸聊视频淲HY91裸聊视频�

It91裸聊视频檚 important for people to know why they are going into situations they know could be tense or worse, says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D, a licensed clinical psychologist who talks about the damage of narcissistic relationships.

Whether that91裸聊视频檚 because there are other relatives they want to see or some other reason that is worth the potential drama, it91裸聊视频檚 vital 91裸聊视频渢o be clear on the reason,91裸聊视频� she says, 91裸聊视频渂ecause otherwise you feel like you91裸聊视频檙e just sort of a moth to the flame.91裸聊视频�

DON91裸聊视频橳 FALL FOR THE HOLIDAY HYPE

Watch enough holiday movies, and you could be lulled into thinking that a time of year where messages of hope and redemption are everywhere means your relationship with that conflict-prone person you have fought with in most other moments of your life will also somehow magically be all sunshine and roses.

91裸聊视频淭here91裸聊视频檚 that kind of relationship-healing fantasy,91裸聊视频� says Tracy Hutchinson, Ph.D., who teaches in the graduate clinical mental health program at the College of William & Mary in Virginia. She says people want to believe 91裸聊视频渕aybe this time it will be different, instead of just radically accepting that it probably won91裸聊视频檛 be any different. But what can be different is the way that you approach the relationship and you approach the situation.91裸聊视频�

SOME SUBJECTS MIGHT BE BETTER OFF AVOIDED

With everything going on in the world today, it probably wouldn91裸聊视频檛 be difficult to have that political issue or current event where you find yourself diametrically opposed to someone you otherwise think well of. Well, you don91裸聊视频檛 have to talk about it, says Jeanne Safer, Ph. D., psychotherapist and author of, 91裸聊视频淚 Love You, But I Hate Your Politics.91裸聊视频�

91裸聊视频淚 think people have a great deal of difficulty realizing that they can care about somebody and have a lot in common and all of those kinds of things and not be able to talk about politics,91裸聊视频� she says. 91裸聊视频淵ou don91裸聊视频檛 have to talk about everything.91裸聊视频�

BUT IF YOU DO, THE GOAL IS COMMUNICATION, NOT CASTIGATION

91裸聊视频淒on91裸聊视频檛 go in trying to convince them that you91裸聊视频檙e right and they91裸聊视频檙e wrong,91裸聊视频� says Tania Israel, Ph. D., professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara. 91裸聊视频淲hat91裸聊视频檚 best is to go in trying to understand them and communicate that you care.91裸聊视频�

If someone says something you disagree with, she says, you can say, 91裸聊视频淭ell me how you came to form that opinion, tell me a little bit about the connection that you have to that issue, what makes that so important to you, and ask them questions.91裸聊视频�

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

If you know your holiday family situation is likely to be tough, find ways to give yourself some moments of peace or distraction, Durvasula says, like going for a walk or taking some time to read a book or meditate. And don91裸聊视频檛 overlook that it is the holiday season.

91裸聊视频淔ind a way to commemorate or celebrate with healthy people, whoever those who might be,91裸聊视频� she says. 91裸聊视频淭hey might be a subset of your family. They may be friends, they may be colleagues, whoever they are, do that. So at least you feel that there91裸聊视频檚 something that happened during that holiday season that felt meaningful to you.91裸聊视频�

READ ALSO: