Avan Jogia wants to show you his guts.
The actor-filmmaker91裸聊视频檚 second poetry collection, 91裸聊视频淎utopsy (of an ex-teen heartthrob)91裸聊视频�, is a retrospective of the years he starred on the Nickelodeon show 91裸聊视频淰ictorious91裸聊视频� and the particular brand of fame it earned him in the early 2010s.
Compiling the book, Jogia said, sent him through the archives of his daily writing practice, selecting poems from when the show91裸聊视频� which also starred the likes of Ariana Grande and Victoria Justice 91裸聊视频攚as on the air, and others written more recently with the benefit of hindsight.
91裸聊视频淟ooking back at those poems, I was sort of taken aback at how similar our voices are, despite there being a little bit more teenage rage,91裸聊视频� he said of his 17-year-old self.
91裸聊视频淏ut I don91裸聊视频檛 know if it91裸聊视频檚 that dissimilar from the rage I experience today.91裸聊视频�
The Vancouver native played Beck, the popular hunk, on 91裸聊视频淰ictorious,91裸聊视频� which ran from 2010 to 2013 and landed him in the pages of J-14, Tiger Beat and a nascent Just Jared Jr. right as he was reaching adulthood.
Beneath the squeaky clean, slime green veneer imposed on him by Nickelodeon, there was the grittier reality of being 20 years old, making his own money and living alone in Los Angeles.
His poems, then, are meant to serve as what he calls an 91裸聊视频渁utopsia91裸聊视频� 91裸聊视频� a self-autopsy in which he peels back the glossy layer to cut open his chest and reveal the grit.
He writes of the drug-fuelled parties he attended and the hungover photoshoots that followed; of friendships and acquaintanceships with those more famous and tortured than he; of the fear he had nothing to live for; and of the feeling of sitting at the kids91裸聊视频� table as an adult.
He also writes of the way people treat him now 91裸聊视频� as a sort of vestige of their youth, though he continues to work both behind and in front of the camera. He directed the 2023 film 91裸聊视频淒oor Mouse91裸聊视频� and is due to star opposite Dove Cameron in the Prime Video series 91裸聊视频淥bsession.91裸聊视频�
But when people look at him and see their childhood, it puts him in a strange position, he said, in part because he91裸聊视频檚 not a fan of nostalgia.
91裸聊视频淚 think nostalgia is a sedative,91裸聊视频� he said. 91裸聊视频淚 think of it as a drug, and we turn to it because tomorrow is so terrifying. We cannibalize our past because we91裸聊视频檙e scared of what91裸聊视频檚 in our future.91裸聊视频�
In general, he said, he91裸聊视频檚 not somebody who looks back very much 91裸聊视频� with the exception of his books. His first, 91裸聊视频淢ixed Feelings: Poems and Stories,91裸聊视频� published in 2019, was a multimedia exploration of race, identity and family.
Generally, though, he said he91裸聊视频檚 more likely to look forward and think about what91裸聊视频檚 next.
91裸聊视频淲hen people look to me to get a feeling of nostalgia 91裸聊视频� I wish I could be the thing that they want me to be,91裸聊视频� he said. 91裸聊视频淚 wish I could satisfy the moment they91裸聊视频檙e trying to have, but so much has happened to me since then 91裸聊视频� 15 years of life 91裸聊视频� so I think it91裸聊视频檚 hard for me to meet them where they left me.91裸聊视频�
That91裸聊视频檚 not necessarily a bad thing, he said. Now 33, he91裸聊视频檚 grown a lot since he was first on TV.
91裸聊视频淚 think my life has gotten better and better and better, and more rich and more full and artistically satisfying,91裸聊视频� he said.
91裸聊视频淢y interior life 91裸聊视频� my soul life 91裸聊视频� has gotten so much better. Obviously, the world around us has gotten91裸聊视频orse.91裸聊视频�
